Does the internet affect real life relationships?
Over the weekend while I was in Athens I started to read about how the internet has been affecting personal relationships between people.
I started by reading about the impact of internet pornography in today’s society. Then looked at internet dating and finally closed the loop with messaging/email flirting/cheating…
I was fascinated with the plethora of available information on the net regarding these issues… A lot of people have put a lot of time and effort to explain the phenomena of internets affect for today’s user.
Here is a brief note on each topic…
Below are a couple of reports done by NY Magazine on internet pornography:
http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/trends/n_9437/index.html
http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/trends/n_9349/index1.html
Personally I think it’s a one-sided view, in the end pornography is individual taste and if people are stupid enough to get hooked on it, it becomes or rather is another substance that society abuses... People’s insecurities makes it that which they state on the articles it is... if men or women are confident they don't need to replace fun and sex in the lives with internet pornography and jerking off... in normal levels it can stimulate ones appetite not suppress it.
When it comes to internet dating there is another article by NY Magazine that in summary questions the affect of internet dating on younger generations to quote “The rise of Internet dating has brought a sexual openness (not to mention one-night stands) to the younger generation not seen since the seventies heyday of Maxwell's Plum. But can there be too much of a good thing? “
You can find the whole article to the following ling: http://nymag.com/nymetro/nightlife/sex/features/n_8227/index.html
However, what shocked me the most was the websites out there that promote cheating. Not only promoting it but have made a business out of it by facilitating illicit affairs for both men and women. Check out the http://www.rekonnect.com (worth reading what people say about them, it’s a guaranteed laugh once you get over the initial shock)... They cater to the man that is bored but don’t wish to leave his current relationship, or to those who wish to be more than friends with someone other than their partner. They target women whom lost that loving feeling and wish to feel all giddy again. They have definitely gotten the gender differences down to an art.
And this is not the only service available some others are www.lovinglinks.co.uk and www.meet2cheat.co.uk.
Lastly, I looked at what impact internet chatting has in society. More specifically when does chatting become flirting and flirting becomes cheating. Again there are a lot of people that have looked at the serious issue and have published articles about them.
Michelle L. Devon in her report Cyber Relationship: Cheating or not? Captures all the main points
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/69686/cyber_relationship_cheating_or_not.html
Then Suzane Donahue in her blog follow’s up from Michelle’s report with her posting Flirting: Cheating or not?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/74693/flirting_cheating_or_not.html
Both are worth reading!
To me there is no question about it; whether it’s online, phone line, at a bar, or email, flirting and exchanges of provocative and sexual comments is the first stages of cheating if not full blown emotional cheating. It doesn’t have to be physical to be Cheating and it means that the person partaking on this kind of exchange does not have enough respect for their partner to consider their feelings and emotions over their own. Respect and trust is the foundation of every good relationship. People that have internet affairs they are being deceitful towards their partners and they misuse their trust. They single handedly create cracks to the foundation of the relationship.
Bottom line real life relationships should not suffer from the online ones. If one of the partners is investing a lot more energy on their online persona he or she takes away energy from their real life relationships which could lead to their doom.
Does that mean that people should walk out of their relationships? Come on people let’s face it, it’s a rare person (men or woman) that are faithful and true these days. In the UK it has become a national sport to steal the other person’s partner and in Greece we joke that half of the population is cheating with the other half… Ok it’s not exactly half but the percentage of people cheating is high and so is the divorce rate.
Personally I believe that if your partner is talking about love to someone else and there are words of yearning and play by play sexual imagery it is time to give the future of your relationship at the very least a very serious thought. You may choose to keep a blind eye to what is happening for various reasons, or you may choose to walk away.
Either way from personal experience and through the eyes of someone who has been in the eye of the storm by having all of my long term partners cheat on me thus far I can tell you that there is no smoke without fire… I can also tell you that it’s a very painful experience that takes a long time to heal and restore trust and faith if ever, let alone your self-respect and feelings of inadequacy.
Always remember that if someone has or is cheating on you it is not your fault but rather it’s because of your partners short comings, weaknesses, low self respect and addictions. It takes a strong person to say no to all the temptations around us. The weak will always crumple… so ask yourself which side you want to be in always knowing that everything in life works in circles so what goes around comes around. Revenge is also for the weak, I have no doubt that life will handle the liars, cheaters and fakes accordingly… so keep you head up, smile and enjoy your own strengths.
I started by reading about the impact of internet pornography in today’s society. Then looked at internet dating and finally closed the loop with messaging/email flirting/cheating…
I was fascinated with the plethora of available information on the net regarding these issues… A lot of people have put a lot of time and effort to explain the phenomena of internets affect for today’s user.
Here is a brief note on each topic…
Below are a couple of reports done by NY Magazine on internet pornography:
http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/trends/n_9437/index.html
http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/trends/n_9349/index1.html
Personally I think it’s a one-sided view, in the end pornography is individual taste and if people are stupid enough to get hooked on it, it becomes or rather is another substance that society abuses... People’s insecurities makes it that which they state on the articles it is... if men or women are confident they don't need to replace fun and sex in the lives with internet pornography and jerking off... in normal levels it can stimulate ones appetite not suppress it.
When it comes to internet dating there is another article by NY Magazine that in summary questions the affect of internet dating on younger generations to quote “The rise of Internet dating has brought a sexual openness (not to mention one-night stands) to the younger generation not seen since the seventies heyday of Maxwell's Plum. But can there be too much of a good thing? “
You can find the whole article to the following ling: http://nymag.com/nymetro/nightlife/sex/features/n_8227/index.html
However, what shocked me the most was the websites out there that promote cheating. Not only promoting it but have made a business out of it by facilitating illicit affairs for both men and women. Check out the http://www.rekonnect.com (worth reading what people say about them, it’s a guaranteed laugh once you get over the initial shock)... They cater to the man that is bored but don’t wish to leave his current relationship, or to those who wish to be more than friends with someone other than their partner. They target women whom lost that loving feeling and wish to feel all giddy again. They have definitely gotten the gender differences down to an art.
And this is not the only service available some others are www.lovinglinks.co.uk and www.meet2cheat.co.uk.
Lastly, I looked at what impact internet chatting has in society. More specifically when does chatting become flirting and flirting becomes cheating. Again there are a lot of people that have looked at the serious issue and have published articles about them.
Michelle L. Devon in her report Cyber Relationship: Cheating or not? Captures all the main points
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/69686/cyber_relationship_cheating_or_not.html
Then Suzane Donahue in her blog follow’s up from Michelle’s report with her posting Flirting: Cheating or not?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/74693/flirting_cheating_or_not.html
Both are worth reading!
To me there is no question about it; whether it’s online, phone line, at a bar, or email, flirting and exchanges of provocative and sexual comments is the first stages of cheating if not full blown emotional cheating. It doesn’t have to be physical to be Cheating and it means that the person partaking on this kind of exchange does not have enough respect for their partner to consider their feelings and emotions over their own. Respect and trust is the foundation of every good relationship. People that have internet affairs they are being deceitful towards their partners and they misuse their trust. They single handedly create cracks to the foundation of the relationship.
Bottom line real life relationships should not suffer from the online ones. If one of the partners is investing a lot more energy on their online persona he or she takes away energy from their real life relationships which could lead to their doom.
Does that mean that people should walk out of their relationships? Come on people let’s face it, it’s a rare person (men or woman) that are faithful and true these days. In the UK it has become a national sport to steal the other person’s partner and in Greece we joke that half of the population is cheating with the other half… Ok it’s not exactly half but the percentage of people cheating is high and so is the divorce rate.
Personally I believe that if your partner is talking about love to someone else and there are words of yearning and play by play sexual imagery it is time to give the future of your relationship at the very least a very serious thought. You may choose to keep a blind eye to what is happening for various reasons, or you may choose to walk away.
Either way from personal experience and through the eyes of someone who has been in the eye of the storm by having all of my long term partners cheat on me thus far I can tell you that there is no smoke without fire… I can also tell you that it’s a very painful experience that takes a long time to heal and restore trust and faith if ever, let alone your self-respect and feelings of inadequacy.
Always remember that if someone has or is cheating on you it is not your fault but rather it’s because of your partners short comings, weaknesses, low self respect and addictions. It takes a strong person to say no to all the temptations around us. The weak will always crumple… so ask yourself which side you want to be in always knowing that everything in life works in circles so what goes around comes around. Revenge is also for the weak, I have no doubt that life will handle the liars, cheaters and fakes accordingly… so keep you head up, smile and enjoy your own strengths.
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